“I will go with you when the weather gets better.”
That is the statement from my husband that I have been hearing continuously almost every Sunday, through the almost ten years of our marriage. In fact, I no longer take this statement seriously; it has already become a joke of sort.
Where do I go that he can’t go to? To you, my dear readers who may not be aware that my husband and I are in an inter-racial and inter-faith marriage, it’s high time that you know that my husband practices the Jewish religion while I profess the Catholic faith. Thus, it’s the Sunday mass that he can’t join me on; and consequently the reason of my exclusion from the synagogue services on Shabbath on Saturdays.
Going into this relationship, we have already sorted out this issue. Leaving his/her religious affiliation was not part of the deal early on. We were not willing to convert and give up his/her religion. And did we talk about what religion will our children practice should we be blessed with one? YES!!!! He/she would have been baptized Catholic, and have gone to a Catholic school. Later on when he/she grows old enough to understand and he/she wishes to learn more about the Jewish religion, he/she would have been allowed to go to a Jewish school to learn the basics of the Jewish religion. He/she would have been the Jewish kid (by virtue of my husband’s last name) singing “Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem.”
Religion has never been an issue with us. My husband is not an Orthodox Jew ( you may have figured that out already), otherwise, he would not have married a gentile like me. I’m actually inclined at describing him as the ‘rebel Jew.’
On the other hand, I was born and raised also under two religions : my Dad and his family were die-hard Aglipayan Church members (the second largest Christian denomination in the Philippines) while my Mom and her family are devout Catholics. To set everything clear for their union, believe it or not, each of them had to be baptized the second time before they got married to follow the spouse’s religion so that they can also get married twice in church. As a result, each of us (their children) were both baptized on two churches also. I don’t know how they were able to pull it off but all of us had to be baptized at the Aglipayan church when we all reached the age of seven; while we were baptized a few months after birth at the Catholic church. Catholicism and the teachings of the Independent Church are not that much different. You can read up about it here. There were no confusions as far as I can remember. But because I attended private Catholic schools from my formative years into College (UST), I somehow practiced the Catholic faith more than the other.
No, we didn’t follow my parents footsteps as far as throwing a wedding twice in two different religious settings. We did get married twice but they were on two different occasions. The two were not religious rites, as we were both in agreement that conversion was not part of our deal. We got married via a secular rite once here in New York and another secular rite in the Philippines. I know, my Uncle who is a priest (a Monsignor with the Catholic church) was not too happy but…..
Unluckily, we haven’t been blessed with a little one, thus, there is nobody singing Christmas songs during Hanukkah. There is simply no little one who would have been amazed at the well-lit Christmas tree on Christmas day and the Menorrah lights on each day it is lit. Likewise, I continue to go to church by my lonesome regardless the weather good or bad. Does he go to Shabbath? I’ll leave it as a question for you to answer (haha). And yes, we are happily married while we continue to believe our own religious beliefs.
I do admire your relationship. Yours is a picture of true love and understanding.
.-= Tita Beng´s last blog ..Neno’s Award =-.
Hi Juliana,
Oh! this is a sacred and very personal issue. Hence, I can echo your closing statement, that you both “are happily married while (each) continue to believe our own religious beliefs.”
God Bless you both Always!
Great to hear that interfaith marriages do work for some people. I think that the main point is that you believe in the same God and have the same basis (a history of Adam and Eve, the Ten Commandments, etc), which is very much the case with Jewish and Catholic religions.
With a great portion of respect from both sides, it will all work out great.
I also like to add that the only way to stop wars, stop racism, and terrorism are these kind of marriages, and hopefully with lots of little blessings to come. If we mix enough, we will all become one race, with a single religion.
I completely understand. My hubby was from a mixed family. He embraced the Jewish life. I was from a Christian family, but did not continue in that believe (kind of had a belief in God only). We were married in a christian church, because my dad was a minister. We spent the first eight years of our marriage in the Temple. I converted to Judaism. Later on we both because believers in Christ as the Messiah. We have a daughter and we celebrate both Religious holidays. We look at it as a completion of Gods plan. Lest we forget what God Almighty did for us. It was a slower process for my hubby then for me, however We have been married for 32 years and still get along great.
.-= AuntieE´s last blog ..My Favorite Song Weekend – Ballon Ride =-.
Juliana,
Just want to point out a error in your post. You write “He/she would have been the Jewish kid singing “Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem.”
According to Jewish Law, a childs religion is determined by the mother and as you are not Jewish, neither will your children be.
As for your husband, I’m willing to bet that that his level of practice of his own faith can best be charactarized as “slim to none”.
All the best.
HERSHEL
@ Tita Beng
thanks Tita B.
@ Windy
great to see you here. I assume, you must be enjoying your blogging hiatus. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
God bless you too!
@ Suzanne
you are absolutely right Suzanne. I do hope that someday mankind will learn to embrace each other while respecting differences in religion. thanks for stopping by.
@ Autie E
kudos to you and your husband!
I’m glad to know firsthand of another couple who have made it that long given the situation.
@ Hershel
thanks for pointing that out, but, be rest assured that I or we are aware of the Jewish law and that there was no way our future children would have been so to speak “Jewish kids.” And that is the reason why I specifically pointed out that he/she would have been baptized as Catholic. As such, I should have written after the words: “Jewish kid” – (by virtue of their last name only).
I better edit and insert those words now, before more and more Jewish police come by and arrest me
.
Interesting poat Tuks.
Have a great week.
.-= Tuks´s last blog ..Last Quarter Occassions… =-.
that’s tough but you made it..I mean seldom couple would have that kind of agreement..It must be the “LOVE” which surpasses every religion.
anyways sis, if you have time..I got you a sister’s tag on my blog
.-= Rocks´s last blog ..Sister’s Week Tag =-.
Juliana,
Although I am strictly observant, forgive me if I came across as critical or as the Jewish Police as you put it as this was not my intention. It’s just that I keep hearing/reading phrases like “I’m part Jewish” or “I’m half Jewish” etc.. and I just wanted to dispel the notion that one can be part Jewish as a result of any union. Jewish law is clear on this that if the mother is a Jew so is the child irrespective of her level of observance or the religion of the father.
All the best.
HERSHEL
hi juliana
great views on marriage and religion
makes me wanna search the google for the difference between a jew and a catholic
thanks and cheers!
.-= sterndal´s last blog ..Mr. Ondoy and Mrs. Money-Eater =-.
Speechless as I am for admiration, I’d like to congratulate both of you for respecting one’s religion and making it a no big deal. We are on the same shoe, it so happen that the hubby is a protestant and is not planning to be converted and vise versa. Our little one is baptized in a Catholic church as agreed.
what you have is simply admirable, sis. and with regard to the bb, just keep on praying, u never know.:)
stay happy!
.-= Lynn´s last blog ..Best Blog Award =-.
@ Tuks
salamat.
@ Rocks
it must be. and of course, swerte siguro.
I will grab that tag soon. wait lang ha.
@ Hershel
No, you didn’t come out as critical at all. Jewish police was just a clever term I used as I didn’t feel I was at all being apprehended. And you are absolutely right about not being half anything.
@ sterndal
thanks! you can try searching. you’ll definitely see the difference.
@ Lira
thanks so much, Lira. It’s nice to know that there is another couple out there with the same situation and are happily living under one roof. how hard can it really be, right? I think that good communication from the start of the relationship comes in to play. And religion is one key element that should not be shrug off even before marriage.
Cheers!
@ Lynn
thanks as always. yung bb, mukhang malabo na yun.
hi juliana
i found the answer from askyahoo
it says that catholics believe that the messiah has already come while the jews are still waiting for Him
thanks
great post!
.-= sterndal´s last blog ..Mr. Ondoy and Mrs. Money-Eater =-.
@ sterndal
haha. I didn’t think you’d be that curious.